I did not demand that he become my Great Emancipator or my Source of All Life, nor did I immediately vanish into that man’s chest cavity like a twisted, unrecognizable, parasitical homunculus.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

We are taught to fill up our emptiness with the marrow of other people. For me, a hopeless romantic, that premise has mostly started with hope and ended with disappointment.

Perhaps I am a tortured artist-introvert debunking relationship myths with the same gusto as Nietzsche when he said “God is dead.”

I’ll tell you who is dead – that childish part of me who believes people are just like characters in romantic comedies.

People are people. We are not Zeus and Athena. We are broken and wounded, whole and loveable. We are fascinating, mysterious creatures imbued with the right to live in inside our own worlds and allow others to live inside theirs.

The most we can expect is that we would be mirrors for each other, not vast basins we can pour ourselves into or that we ought to allow to be poured into us.

We must come to our relationships from a strong self and not confuse the emotions we feel, for the person who mirrors them back to us. We do this remembering that each self is ultimately part of a whole, an intricate and luminous garment.

We are born alone and we die alone. We belong to ourselves and we belong to each other. We see and we are blind. Don’t expect to merge. Occupy the planet of your Self, rotate around those who help you feel like the sun, and feel yourself to be ever in divine orbit.

Meditation: Let’s take a breath together. Aaaahhh…Take a quiet moment to notice what your internal response is right now. Simply feel and notice the body sensations and thoughts coming through you as you continue to breathe. Then take out your writing materials and go for 10 minutes using a word or a phrase that you noticed from checking in just now.

Text and images by Beandrea Terese and made available under Creative Commons Licensing. Copyright 2010.

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